Right now I'm feeling disillusioned. As if I were a bird and flying to nowhere. Restless. Destination-less. A flight to nowhere. It seems that my life has become so stale. so stagnant. so motionless. so static. so routine. so uncertain. so unsure. i dun even know what i want. what do i really want in life? i felt i have been wasting my life for something that is impossible. love. a gay love, that is.
well, i just cried while writing this post while listening to Agnes Monica's 'Teruskanlah'. why i can't be happy just like any other gays who are happily attached? i know this cinta is luar biasa. bukan cinta biasa. but i need to love and be loved. but i'm seem outta luck.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Not your average joe!
It's been a while since my last update kan. Anyway, bukannya busy sangat pun cuma tak ada masa or more appropriately, malas nak update blog. maybe i should create twitter instead. ada ke followers? I dun think so. more like a twitter yg syok sendiri. anyway, i'm still single as usual since my last update in August. with regular shags. dating. that keeps me going. and also i just got 2 nieces; alyah and dania. bestnya! dah lama tak ada anak buah perempuan.
for my lovelife, i masih baik dgn my ex. I'm not sure whether both of us have feelings for each other. but we still keep in touch. u even buka puasa sama dulu a few days before raya. then we jumpa for late night drinks. he went out with a model ok rite now (so he says lah). so who am i to compete. but i kinda bumped that he went out clubbing regularly. he even took drugs occasionally and drinking alcohols. so, i guess since i dun do all those things, we are so NOT getting back together.
speaking of model and hunks, this guy,Imran from tagged said hi to me and i remembered him so well since he is so cute. tall. fair. like a dream boat. of course we had sex when we met a few years back. too bad that he's got a bf already. but i wish he was my bf.
which brings me to the question. why can't an ordinary guy like me an average joe have a hunk as their bf? Why does a hunk have to be with a hunk too? susah kan. the world is not fair. kadang2 aku makan hati tengok gay couple yg sama hunky. why can't it happen to me? i'm not a typical average joe. i want the beautiful things in life too. i want a hunky bf too. but why no hunks want me?
Why?
for my lovelife, i masih baik dgn my ex. I'm not sure whether both of us have feelings for each other. but we still keep in touch. u even buka puasa sama dulu a few days before raya. then we jumpa for late night drinks. he went out with a model ok rite now (so he says lah). so who am i to compete. but i kinda bumped that he went out clubbing regularly. he even took drugs occasionally and drinking alcohols. so, i guess since i dun do all those things, we are so NOT getting back together.
speaking of model and hunks, this guy,Imran from tagged said hi to me and i remembered him so well since he is so cute. tall. fair. like a dream boat. of course we had sex when we met a few years back. too bad that he's got a bf already. but i wish he was my bf.
which brings me to the question. why can't an ordinary guy like me an average joe have a hunk as their bf? Why does a hunk have to be with a hunk too? susah kan. the world is not fair. kadang2 aku makan hati tengok gay couple yg sama hunky. why can't it happen to me? i'm not a typical average joe. i want the beautiful things in life too. i want a hunky bf too. but why no hunks want me?
Why?
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