Happy!

Happy is a very wonderful thing that could happen to anyone. It makes one's life sparkling and full of joy. But are you really happy with your life? 100% sure. Am I happy? I think i'm happy but I'm not content. What the hell it means anyway? That means i'm not totally happy. I said I'm happy but essentially I'm not happy at all. It's really hard to content oneself. Everyone has their own way of sourcing for their happiness.

A friend of mine recently broke up with his bf. Both of them decided to call it quits after meeting the bf's parents. Normally, meet the parents implied a big step in any relationship. That means the parents somehow approved the relationship and not the other way around. That's kinda weird. It's supposed to be a first step towards any couple's happiness. Getting your ma and pa to approve your relationship.

Of course, my friend reacted pretty well at first with the break up. But i'm so shock that they decided to call it quit so soon. Such test of love should never be a hindrance if one were to persevere and have faith in the relationship. The thing with our society is that they still think leading a normal life would lead to everyone's happiness. It would make everyone happy.

Are they really happy? Do normal couple really happy? I beg to differ. If they are happy, why there are so many divorces now. If they are so happy, why do husbands and wives 'eat out' / makan luar? If they are so content with their normal life, why they neglect and abuse the kids? trust me, if you ask any married people now whether they are really happy with their life now, most of them would say maybe.

i dun care about their happiness or otherwise. i care about my own happiness. i wanna be happy. i want that kinda feeling when you are just contented with everything that you have. but i'm not. it's just so damned hard. I just wanna be happy!

Why it's so hard?

Why it is so hard to find a decent guy these days? I just need someone who is understanding. Not ultra or super sensitive or overly sensitive. Not a hunk (just an ordinary average joe will do). Not knowing what they want. Not a parasite. Not a money boy. Not materialistic. Why it's so hard to find these kind of guys these days? Do they not exist anymore? I'm just confused.

I began to know two guys lately. But we haven't met in person. Just sms chat and online chat. But what puzzled me is the fact that they seemed to be lovey dovey now and emotional even before we met. They are even jealous and cemburu tak tentu pasal for no apparent reason. Hello,,,, we haven't even met.. What were they thinking? Plus, they said, they are looking for friends. Since when friends can become jealous?

I just don't get these kind of people. I'm not as hot as they are. They can have all the hot guys if they want. I've been telling them the same thing. "You are hot. Why can't you date someone who is just as hot as you?"

Entahlah. I'm just confused right now. I am a man of principles,. I don't do long distance relationship. I won't declare until i know that person well enough. To declare as a couple not even before we meet in person is ridiculous. Utter foolishness. I need to meet the guy in person. Get to know him more in person and not just via sms chat and online chat. I will not take that risk. that's why i made it to clear to whomever on their intention or goal. I always ask them what they are looking for? Sex? Fun? Friend? LTR?

If they are looking for LTR, then i will get to know him and go out on a date etc. I can only declare if both of us feels that we have chemistry.

I'm a kinda straight forward person. At my age now, I don't want to waste my time for emotional roller coaster rides. That will just take my time off. At my age now, time is of essence. So, why it's so hard for me to find a decent, simple, average look guy, with no dramas, etc? Why it's so hard to find these kind of person?