Aku bosan

It's been a while since my last post. Lama betul. My last post was in Nov 2009. What happened to me since then? Well, i'm still single and not necessarily sane. Have a lil bit of amnesia from time to time. Lost weight a lil bit. Date-less. What else? Not rich yet. still struggling with my life, my career, my love life. Still feel like a loser. Why i can't be like other people who have everything.

They have a wonderful and loving partner. They have a good career. I seem to be run out of luck. Even the ugliest of the fags can have a cute boyfriend, why can't I? Why????????????? My career seemed to be on a downhill. I have never been demotivated ever. My creative flairs are of no use. People hate me for being outspoken or at least giving a good idea. Takkan nak makan gaji buta?

I dunno what to do. I dun even have people asking me out for a date. Or even getting to know more about me. Or wanting to know me even more. Or even asking me out for a drink or coffee. All I get was sexual demands. More sexual demands. I'm not sick of sex. But too much sex would do me no good for finding a relationship. I can never have relationship with the regular shag buddies. It's just not in my book.

Aku bosan. I'm tired of this life that I am in. I'm afraid i will do drastic measure. I've been known to do unpredictable things. I dun want to do a stupid thing (s) just because I frustrated with life. God, help me please. Give me strength to face the challenges ahead. I'm just so mentally weak now that I can't think straight. I see life as nothing but against me.