Gao-licious!

There is a new hunk in town by the name of Godfrey Gao. You may wonder WTF is him? He is a Taiwanese model/actor. He is the new face of Louis Vuitton. His Chinese name was Gao Yi Xiang. Born 22 Sep 1984. Towering at 195cm (6'4"). Wow! So tall. He should be playing the NBA. A Virgo. He reminded me of Takeshi Kaneshiro, a young version of him but with more statuesque nature. TV credits included Momo Love (2009), Volleyball Lover (2010) and movie included All About Women (2008). I must say he looks WAY better with beard. Looks sharp, exotic, strong chin. Simply gao-licious. Hehe!

He is the first Asian male supermodel ever as the face of Louis Vuitton's Spring/Summer Ready-to-Wear campaign for 2011/2012. He sports the newest Louis Vuitton Damier Graphite Elvis messenger bag. G (as he is known in Taiwan), he was originally born in Vancouver, Canada. His father is Taiwanese and his mother is Malaysian. He went to Argyle Secondary School, and studied at Capilano University. Naturally sporty and plays a range of sports including basketball, American football, volleyball, baseball, ice skating, track and field, Tae Kwon Do, DJ, and playing the drums.

Amarahku

I wish life would be easy.
I wish life is a smooth ride. No bumpy rides.
I wish I am happy.
I wish I am in love. I wish i am loved by someone. I wish i'm capable of loving someone.
I wish people would like me. I wish people would admire me. I wish people would choose me.
I wish i have luck. I wish i have all the luck in the world in whatever that i do.
I wish people would fall in love with me. I wish people would completely mesmerized by me.
I wish i am not kecewa.
I wish i am not disappointed.
I wish i am contented.

Ah, Joie de Vivre (Joy of life)

This will be my new motto. To enjoy life as it is. No matter what comes. Celebrating the joyhood of life. Actually i was inspired to use the motto after watching Jessica Simpson's MTV Show 'The price of beauty'. The French people whom she met embraced the philosophy and enjoying every moments in their life. Perhaps I should too. Perasan nak jadi French lah pulak kan. Whatever!!! Memang lah life sucks. But i need to enjoy every bits of it.

My career sucks.... but I should be so lucky to have at least a job.
My lovelife sucks.... but I should feel lucky that my family especially my mum still loves me unconditionally.
My health sucks coz i've got tummy and my body is not so flattering at all with a lil bit of love handle. but i should feel fortunate that i still fine and have no major illness.

So, joie de vivre!

Chun Jung Myung

Star of Cinderella's Stepsisters!
I fell in love with him.
So cute.....

Bad (err... more like NO) romance!

This is not Lady GaGa's song 'Bad Romance' even if that song has been insanely playing on the radios and on telly. Enough of Gaga and her cuckoo-ness. Anyway, my posting today refers to the never ending tales of romance (if any) that ever occured to me. Well, my romantic life is pretty non existent. I am still pining for the very romantic notion just like any romantic movies. I'm pining to be loved, in love, and loving someone. I'm hoping for that moment to come. But to no avail.

What made me even pissed is that some people can easily find romance. My colleague told me yesterday that his uni friend has just came out to him over the weekend. My friend, A, was so shocked to hear that since that uni friend (let's name him C) is ever the religious type (very the ustaz type) or what A coined 'Budak surau'. C was so alim that A never think that C might be gay. Esp. considering the fact that C is actually not so good looking or in other words, 'ugly'.

To make it even worse, C is now in a uniform workforce here in Malaysia. A profession that every Malaysians is so proud of and well respected. And guess what, C is married to a girl (of course). And..... C has a boyfriend in the same workforce. Both are 'uniform men'. And they are both in love. Madly. Even worst, both are not handsome. What's happening to the world?

Even the butt ugly guys can find a boyfriend and soulmates.
What about me?
What about now?
Hearing his stories, I just wanna puke and made me wonder as to why I can't find love. Do i have the negative vybes that people prefer to stay away from? Or i juz have NO ROMANCE chop all over my forehead.. LOSER maybe...
I wonder....

What's wrong with me?

Actually i dunno what to write. Coz I just dunno what is wrong with me. I think i am luck-less. I'm just so unlucky with love. With my career. Here i am getting older as the day goes by. Not necessarily wiser. The world is so unfair sometimes to people like me. especially me. Some people can easily be loved, in love, with someone who is so sesuai, so padan, so MFEO (made for each other). A picture perfect couple of happiness.

I am surrounded with people i know and strangers with stories of their romance and otherwise handsome, drop dead gorgeous, other half. Am i jealous? Of course i am. Imagine that person is your friends. Your colleagues. Your staff. I can go insane thinking about it. Why not me? Am i so un-dateable? Do i have the ick factor that people dare not to approach me for more than sex? I'm just confused. Seriously confused. seriously. seriously.

I am FUGLY (not FUGLEE) !

Yup. I am proud to say that I am fugly i.e. fucking ugly. At least some guy told me that. What would ur reaction be if someone said to your face that you are? He didn't say to my face but the body language said it all. One thing for sure i love GLEE. Fucking love GLee so much (FUGLEE). It's a reality check. I always know that I am not the hunkiest bunch neither the cutest bunch. I kinda accept the fact that i am ugly.

Can a fugly person be happy? I doubt it. Take me for example. Being a fugly that I am, life is so hard. I'm living thru sadness, downs, the lows, the rejections, the humiliations. Yet i am surviving. Never content. Never fully happy. Never equipped. I'm so 'luluh' rite now. I'm mentally drained with all the lies, the hypocrisy, the constant rejection. But i keep bouncing back. Hoping that i will no longer be deemed as not fugly in someone's eyes.

After all, we are only human. Human with imperfections. Human with flaws. Human with needs. Human with desires. Human with the wanting to love and be loved. I'm not sure whether a fugly deserves a happiness. But one thing for certain, everyone wants to be happy in their life or at any point in their life. I wanna see the light of day as to when will that ray of happiness lights up my otherwise gloomy days.